Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Recipe: where oh where is the McRib????

|November 21, 2013|read comments (0)
Author: Mama's Kitchen

Well it's been a day!


And to make matters worse – McDonald's has announced that they are discontinuing the McRib!


 

Isn't it bad enough that the McRib is only available for a short period of time and not on the menu as a permanent item?


I was watching FOX News when I got the shocker.  Hell – this makes Michelle Obama happy – Miss (cough) Perfect who thinks she can control what everyone is supposed to eat.  Who the hell is that bitch!  I bet you anything that old witch is a junk food closet eater and doesn't want anyone to know!  How else did her ass get so big?

 

Anyway – so what's a McRib anyway?


McDonald's McRib sandwich, pressed formed boneless pork patty submerged in barbecue sauce, with onion and pickles on a sandwhich bun is a specialty item that has made more appearances on their menu than I can recall.


Just what exactly is a pressed formed pork patty?

 

Rather than make your own pressed pork product you can use JTM® Brand pressed formed pork patties, which McDonald's used. Wal-Mart had them in the frozen meat section, not sure if they still carry them. If you're looking for a vegeterian version, check out Gardenburgers® Meatless Riblets.

 

The McRib


1 JTM® Brand "Grillin' Ribs" pork patty
1 6 inch long sandwich bun
2 tablespoons Bullseye® Barbecue sauce
1 tablespoon chopped white onion
3 sour dill pickle slices

Preheat griddle to 400°. Cook the pork patty according to the package
directions.

Toast both halves of the bun. On the toasted top bun, apply the barbecue
sauce and the dill pickle slices, placed evenly across the bun.

Put the cooked rib patty on top of the picle slices and follow with the
onions. Place the bottom bun on the onions.

Wrap sandwich in a 12”x16” sheet of waxed paper, let sit 5 minutes, then
microwave on high about 15 seconds, still wrapped. This will help create
that "McDonald's Flavor".

 

Okay cooks – let's do this – why not "know" exactly what you are eating and/or feeding your family like I do –

 

I started with thin sliced pork – no fat – a nice good cut of meat is best for what I make.  Place in a hot skillet (you know the routine – heat the skillet, add your olive oil, heat your oil, add your meat) and I season mine with Kosher salt, fresh cracked black pepper, garlic, onion powder and parsley.  Fried nice and a little on the slow side for that juicy tenderness we all love.  If you want to do them in the oven – same routine – olive oil, seasonings, a bit of water, cover, 350* until fork tender.

 

BBQ sauce – well – if  Bullseye is too spicy for you (or any other brand), cut it with some ketchup and if you want a bit of sweetness – give a drizzle of honey.  You can make your own as well – who said you couldn't?

 

A good hoagie-style roll, which we prefer to have very lightly toasted, fresh sliced onions and several dill pickle chips and you've got one heluva good McRib from your own kitchen.

 

No microwave needed (I wouldn't use one for anything anyway!)

 

Make them for a party, even use the crockpot to cook them in – so tender and juicy.  and you will also know what the hell you're eating!

 

C'mon – don't worry about the shape of the patty itself or the shape of the roll – it doesn't matter – it's a damn good sammie whether you make it in the oven, on the stove top or in the crockpot.

 

And – get this – make a ton of these patties – once cooked, cool completely in the fridge.  Next day, wrap them individually – easy to warm up at any time with BBQ sauce.  Well worth the effort!

 

Long live the McRib!

 

Food police – BITE ME!

 

 

Recipe: Simple – One pot!

|October 24, 2013|read comments (0)
Author: Mama's Kitchen


Well it's been a heluva 2 weeks!


First the starter went on the car – 2 days before my mechanic was scheduled for surgery and he could not fit me in.  He won't be back to work for a couple weeks – now what?


Okay – no car for a week – I'm going bonkers!


Ahhhhh – Tommy to the rescue.  God bless Tommy.


Tommy is my neighbor who takes care of the outside yard work for me, crawls up on the roof and cleans out my gutters for me and showed up at my house with a friend of his who is a mechanic, took my starter out, drove down the road to the parts store and put a new starter in – all in 1/2 hour!


God bless them both.  The car starts.


Well – don't I get a bug now?  Too sick to leave the house – so another 5 days pass.


Guess what??   I ventured out yesterday to a totally dead battery that would not hold a charge.  The charge got me to a car fixer-upper down the road – one terminal was only running on 10% – new battery time.  grrrrrrrrrrrrr


Okay – what else was going to happen?


I ventured out because of 3 unauthorized purchases made on my bank card and I had to go to the back to get money (like at this point I have any left!) because when I called the bank to file a complaint – they shut off my card immediately.


Oh well – new card in 5 to 7 BUSINESS days – ditto with the money taken from my account.


I don't use checks, I pay my bills on line and I use my card for everything not having to worry about carrying cash.  The ATM at the corner is from my bank so there are no ATM charges – I love it.


Now??  This.


So with all that goes on – I do still get hungry and I was not in the mood to cook.  So I grabbed some kielbasa links out of the fridge, diagonally cut, scrubbed and wedged taters, cleaned and cut carrots and steamed them.  Simple.


Dot with butter when done, sprinkle with salt and pepper – a bit of parsley for "the look" as well.


No fuss, no mess, and I still have to make it to the bank today.


Just another fun day here!

Recipe: PLEASE HELP!

|October 16, 2013|read comments (0)
Author: Mama's Kitchen

To all who visit here –

 

first of all – thank you for stopping by – I greatly appreciate it!

 

I don't ask for much – but today I am asking for someone else –

and I am hoping that you will please do this for me – well – not for me – but for "them" – the children that are our future.

 


http://browniebrittle.com/cookies-kids-cancer-cookbook/

 

 

Just click on the above link – it's just a couple clicks – no harm – no charge – and you will get a few recipes – if you want them fine – you can always delete them.  But your very special "click" will help these children – IT DOES NOT COST YOU A CENT BUT IT MEANS SO MUCH FOR THESE ADORABLE CHILDREN!

 


http://browniebrittle.com/cookies-kids-cancer-cookbook/

 

 

Please do not turn your back on them.

 

 

They need you.

 

Please send this link to everyone you know on line – FB, Twitter, blogs, sites – please – it doesn't cost you a thing and you will be helping to save precious lives, ease the pains, give them a chance at life.

And may God bless you and yours for your kindness and thoughtfulness!

 

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

 

Bless you!

 


http://browniebrittle.com/cookies-kids-cancer-cookbook/

 

 

Recipe: “Pink slime” time!

|March 22, 2012|read comments (1)
Author: Mama's Kitchen

Okay – by now you all know me – I don’t believe in processed foods and all the chemicals and preservatives that are jammed into our bodies each day. Yes there are good preservatives and bad preservatives. But some of the things that are being fed to us are totally uncalled for.

I haven’t chimed in about this pink slime stuff – but it’s time to jump on the soap box – so here I go:

For those of you that do not know what pink slime is (and that is the actual name for it) it is actually LEAN FINELY GROUND TEXTURED BEEF THAT IS MADE FROM FATTY LEFTOVER MEAT TRIMMINGS FROM OTHER CUTS. No it is not genetically engineered! But it is butcher scraps. And after seeing what goes on in some meat rooms – and the length of time these scraps sit – I just don’t want to go there!

This “meat” goes through a process where it is heated (simmered) to 100* F. (this separates the fat from the muscle) and “spun” to remove most of the fat. From there it is compressed into blocks to be used in ground meats. Then it is “exposed” to "a puff of ammonium hydroxide gas" to kill bacteria, such as E. coli and salmonella.** Flash freeze these compressed bricks and send them to the stores and markets!

In case you care to know – Pink Slime is made by Beef Products Incorporated – and they have made MILLIONS selling this garbage.

Needless to say, this does not even need to be placed on food labels as an ingredient. It makes up 70% of some ground meats and burgers and is in at least HALF of all US ground meat and burgers.

Oh it meets the food safety requirements and it’s been around for years – it’s nothing new. It made headlines a couple years back when McDonald’s and other major chains discontinued using ammonia-treated beef.

It has, of course, turned up in school lunches though. Sure, use it on the kids. Make Congress and the White House eat it.

Now help me to understand this:

Our “government” (which keeps sticking it’s nose into what we eat, how much we eat, how it is supposed to be prepared, etc.) does not allow McDonald’s (for instance) to set up shop in a school cafeteria because of hundreds of reasons – making such foods the worst thing you can serve your children. McDonald’s – who has chosen not to use ammonia-treated meat products for consumers. BUT YET – IT IS BEING FED TO SCHOOL CHILDREN! I don’t get it! Do you? Wow – sure ain’t like the old Wonder Bread – ain’t gonna make strong bodies and strong minds for their future!

There’s a link –

Pinkslimesamyth.com

Which to me is a waste of internet space. They spend too much time defending themselves. Sure USDA inspected beef – the whole cow – including ALL it’s parts – hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Then you have the National Meat Association that chimes in fighting against those that say this “meat” is destined for dog food. Also, they claim that ammonium hydroxide is used in baked goods, puddings and other processed foods. AHA – another reason to make it homemade!

It was nice to hear this morning on the news that more major food chains (such as Safe Way and Shaw’s) are now refusing to use or sell products containing pink slime. Maybe we can get back to being healthier if more would stand up to what is going on with our food supply, how it is treated, where it comes from, etc.

What is sad – Wegman’s, Market Basket, and Stop ‘n Shop say that except for some varieties mostly of the organic type, much of their ground beef contains pink slime, but that their processing plants use a safer antibacterial agent on the meat scraps. And that would be what??? Wegman’s denies selling it but yet they use their own version of pink slime in their meats. Glad I don’t buy my meats there and Wegman‘s is a popular store (not for me or my family) around here!

WalMart and Sam’s Club sell it – but also offer alternatives – they state. I do not buy meat from WalMart because I do not know where it comes from and what they do to it. I am dead-set against “foreign” (meaning from some company in another state I don’t know of) packaged meats in my home. I want to see the butcher cutting and wrapping cuts of meat. Never trust anyone!

Places like Aldi’s and Save Lot – don’t know where their mystery meat comes from as well – so steer clear.

BJ’s sells it and will continue to – they like the profit. (low life!)

And this ammonia-treatment to kill bacteria, such as E. coli and salmonella is a CROCK! Learn how to properly store, handle and cook your foods and you won’t have any problems. Also, maybe the USDA needs to crack down more on farmers, food processing plants, supermarkets, etc.

If you are worried about pink slime – since it is not labeled and cannot be detected with the naked eye – buy organic beef. So far – it is not allowed in it.

Another thing you can do – pick up a piece of chuck and have the butcher grind it for you if you don’t want to grind it yourself; no filler!

One thing we don’t need is more FILLERS in our diets. We need good old-fashioned, unprocessed foods to make up most of what we eat. Just think how much healthier our ancestors were – and they worked a minimum of 18 hours each day really laboring! They ate good home-cooked meals made with fresh ingredients, worked hard in their gardens and their homes as well as on the job. They lived long, healthy and productive lives – none of all these cancers and diseases and autism, ADHD, etc. in those days – not like today. And they had WHOLE MILK WITH THE CREAM ON TOP, they fried and deep fried using LARD and baked and cooked with it. They used REAL BUTTER not imitation crap. Got the picture yet?

Open your eyes people – LEARN!

Frozen, pre-packaged and micro-waved foods ain’t gonna do you or your family any good!

Like I have said before (and I am at the age where I can repeat myself over and over again and get away with it) – for 30 days eat fresh foods, meats with no fillers, fresh veggies and fruits, eliminate most caffeine drinks, no pop or energy drinks, homemade cakes and baked goods, homemade breads, homemade sauces and gravies – you know the routine. Cook the old-fashioned way. Do it for 30 days – see how you feel after that 30 days. Betcha feel tons better, look better and maybe even a bit thinner! Need help or meal ideas? Just drop me a line!

(as I step off my soapbox – time for a cup of tea……….)

 

 

 

 

 

Recipe: Happy New Years!

|January 1, 2012|read comments (0)
Author: Mama's Kitchen

My New Year wish for you
Is for 2012 to be the best year yet,
A year filled with peace and love,
And what you want, you blessedly get.

May 2012 be a year which you cherish
The memories and remembrances of the past,
And live your life each new day,
Full of bright expectancies that last.

I wish for you a healthy year,
With happiness and love galore;
And when it’s done, I wish you
Happy New Year, and many, many more.

Recipe: Creamed “Refrigerator” Soup

|October 1, 2011|read comments (0)
Author: Mama's Kitchen

It's been two solid weeks of this flu – I must be very lovable because it just will not leave me. Just when you think it is going away, and you start to feel better for (almost) a day – then it knocks you back down.  Seems like everyone has it too.

Soups – homemade soups – that has helped me so much. Everything from chicken noodle, creamy onion, sausage and cabbage, tomato rice and today's concoction –

Creamy "Refrigerator" Soup

It's to the point that whatever is in the fridge is going into the soup – something has to help with this flu.

I melted a bit of butter in my soup pot, then I added a LARGE diced onion and 2 stalks of celery (diced), minced celery leaves, kosher salt, fresh cracked black pepper, parsley and a bit of water – just to soften for a bit – which of course I am sick and impatient so I immediately added about 6 to 7 cups water and some instant chicken bouillon.

I know the onion and the cracked pepper will help.

Cleaned and sliced 3 skinny carrots – those were the ones hidden in the middle of the bag – added to pot.

There's a ham steak in the fridge and I cannot eat a whole ham steak – way too much for me. So I cut off a piece to enjoy with some pineapple for tomorrow's dinner and I diced up the rest of the ham steak and added that.

Bring to boil and simmer for about 20 minutes; add diced cabbage and frozen peas; simmer until cabbage is tender. Add milk and heat through – do not boil milk!

Even if you're not ailing – it's still a very good soup!

Recipe: Bad turkeys

|September 24, 2011|read comments (0)
Author: Mama's Kitchen

This happened a few years back – and I thought it would give you a chuckle –

 

Well – it’s getting closer!

Thanksgiving that is.

In today’s paper there is an ad for Tops Turkeys at Tops Markets. They say 29 cents/pound with a $15.00 purchase.

Not too sure about that one. You see – a few years back they (Tops Markets) had this slam-bang deal on their store brand turkeys. Of course, being a turkey family I purchased 4 Tops brand and 1 Riverside brand; stuffed them in the freezers – one for Christmas and the others for anytime we wanted turkey.

This one particular year – we were going to do something different. Since it was going to be a very quiet day and it was going to be just us – and of course that year they were going to have the stores opened on Turkey Day so that we could get a jump on holiday shopping – we had this “brainstorm” of cooking the turkey the day before Thanksgiving.

So the day before was quite hectic with the baking, roasting the bird, etc. and we used the carcass to make soup/broth so we did that as well. For Thanksgiving we would still have a great meal – but hardly any mess with all the extra pans. So we had visions of having dinner at noon, hitting the stores and SHOPPING!

Pffft. Hell with that idea.

The turkey was bad. And I mean BAD! It had to be tossed. So was the big pan of broth made from it.

OMG! It’s Thanksgiving! NO TURKEY.

Quick – grab one out of the freezer – and freeze our hands off doing the quick thaw in the cold water routine. We worked that sucker for two hours – massaging, wrestling – anything – just to thaw his butt (which got cut off anyway) and cook him up.

So our noon meal consisted of the veggies, salad, bread. At dinnertime we would have turkey and gravy with leftover sweet potatoes and veggies.

NOT! Turkey #2 – in the garbage.

Grab Tops turkey #3 – by 8 PM he was in the oven. By 12:30 in the morning we are tasting another bad turkey. Toss it.

Now it’s tops turkey #4 – he went in the oven at 8 AM the day after Thanksgiving. Then he went in the garbage by 1 PM.

What I should have done was taken all 4 birds, wrapped them up with a bow, found out where the damn store manager lived, gone to his house and force-fed him those turkeys. And then stick the rest where the sun don’t shine.

But instead – I went to Walmart. The day after Thanksgiving with all the loonies that knock down people at 4 in the morning to get their sale items. Me? I was there for a turkey! That’s it. No other shopping – just give me a turkey! After all – food stores don’t open till 6 or 7 AM – and I needed a bird NOW! Walmart is open earlier.

I still had the Riverside turkey from Tops in the freezer – but I was afraid to roast it. Not after the last 4 birds.

So here I am – cart in hand – I run to the grocery department – which of course I had to myself because the loonies went the other way. Grabbed a couple birds and went home.

Two birds in the freezer – one for a quick thaw with the massaging and wrestling all over again. Hacked off his ass and in the oven he went.

Damn good turkey. Made damn good broth/soup. Did I do any shopping? Yeah – for 3 turkeys at Walmart – that was it.

After that – cook the bird on Thanksgiving and stay home. Forget all the hoopla about shopping. It’s not worth it. And most of the time the same items are the sale price anyway. And be careful when the stores offer you such a good deal! There is a method to their madness.

You may wonder about the Riverside turkey I got at Tops the same day I bought the others. I refused to make it for Christmas. I pushed him to one side of the freezer as if he had typhoid and was quarantined. I did end up roasting him on a non-holiday in January. He was good and made a good soup/broth.

So you see – just because Tops has turkeys for 29 cents/pound – I’m not jumping for it. I’d rather pay much more and have a good turkey on the table.

I realize that the more turkeys (or other food items) a chain purchases – the cheaper they get them. And they get to store them in their freezers until they need them. But these birds had to be 2 years old or more. And to think that Tops Markets donates their brand of turkeys to food banks by the truck load. Those poor people who got them. And that was the year they (Tops) showed their big trucks loaded with turkeys going to the food pantries. I should have saved all those turkeys and put it on television for all to see.

Aren’t you glad I shared that one with you? The Thanksgiving I cooked 5 turkeys – 4 for the garbage and 1 for us. I think if I would have had company that year I would have been mortified! Never have I ever had that happen to me in all the decades of cooking turkeys.

Recipe: Veterans’ Day – 2009

|September 24, 2011|read comments (0)
Author: Mama's Kitchen

 

 
It's Veteran's Day – the day we honor our country's Veterans.

It's a beautiful day today – and like always, I was up early placing flags on the graves of my family's veterans. All the men, and a few women, in our family were veterans; my grandmother was a Gold Star Mother.

For some reason I'm not much in the mood today for cooking. But I will have a good hot meal on the table for dinner today.

Many times I over cook – as a matter of fact – I am so used to quantity cooking that I sometimes have a hard time making smaller meals. But that is fine – I freeze many things to make it easy for me to have a hot, good, and quick meal when I need one.

One thing I don't believe in, is leaving cooked foods in the freezer for a length of time. I feel the just don't taste the same, so I will rely on what is in the freezer today for dinner.

I've got half a turkey breast, pork chops, steak, roast beef, gravies and sauces that I can pick and choose from. I even have a lasagna in there. I'll just make a pot of mashed potatoes and a veggie to go with whatever meat we choose, and it will look as if I spent hours in the kitchen.

Sometimes, it's just nice to be able to cheat. This is what I called "pre-packaged convenience foods" – not that crappie junk you can buy in the supermarket. I know what is in my homemade convenience foods, I know how it was prepared, and I never have to worry about e coli, salmonella, etc.

If you haven't tried to freeze portions for future meals – you should really try it. While preparing a meal, it doesn't take any extra time to make more. Not only is it a timesaver – but it is a money saver as well.

Just remember, once cooked, refrigerate until COMPLETELY cold, portion and package using either freezer bags, freezer containers, or foil. Wrap tightly, label and date. I don't even keep these foods as long as a month – but they sure do come in handy. And you can do the same thing for your family.

Don't forget – you can easily make your own TV dinners as well. For those that use microwaves (which you all know I am dead-set against!) have it even easier for re-heating.

Never waste – create!

Also – say a prayer for our troops throughout the world – May God bless them and keep them safe.

Recipe: an incorrectly published pie recipe

|September 24, 2011|read comments (0)
Author: Mama's Kitchen

I am posting this once again – for those that may be recipe hoarders and never really take the time to read the recipe through until it is time to make it –

 

Okay – it's Sunday morning and we all look forward to enjoying the Sunday paper, reading ads, looking at sale papers and at this time of the year, we check out the recipes that are including in the coupon sections that they hand out with the paper.

Of course I am drawn to the recipes –

sure as shootin'

take a look at this recipe:

Pumpkin Apple Pie

Yield:
8 servings Prep Time:
10 minutes Bake Time:
50-55 minutes Chill Time:
2 hours

1/4 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1 egg
1/4 teaspoon Karo® Corn Syrup OR Karo® Lite Syrup
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 can (5 fluid ounces) evaporated milk

1 can (21 ounces) Comstock® or Wilderness® Apple Pie Filling

1 (9-inch) unbaked deep dish pie crust

MIX sugar, salt and pumpkin pie spice in a bowl. Add egg and beat slightly. Add syrup, pumpkin and evaporated milk; blend well.

SPREAD apple pie filling in pie crust. Gently pour pumpkin filling over the apples.

BAKE in a 425°F preheated oven for 15 minutes; reduce oven temperature to 350°F and continue baking for 35 to 40 minutes, or until knife inserted in pie center comes out clean.

CHILL a minimum of 2 hours before serving.

WHHHAAATTTTTT???

Am I THAT old that I don't understand this recipe?

Or do they need to find an editor that is not blind and knows something about baking pies?

Or is it me?

Did you read this recipe? Please take a look –

What am I looking at?

1/4 TEASPOON Karo syrup

????????????

If their Classic Pumpkin Pie has 1/2 cup sugar and 1/2 cup Karo syrup in the ingredient list, why is this 1/4 cup sugar and 1/4 TEASPOON Karo syrup – shouldn't it read 1/4 CUP???

To me – that cannot be right. So I called their customer service, which of course is closed today and I cannot call again until tomorrow – 9 to 4 Central time.

I honestly can't wait to hear their response on this one!

Do you realize – if this is incorrect – how many will follow that recipe because it is a Brand Name recipe and those that write them are supposed to put out correct recipes? Not only was it in the coupon section printed that way, but it is also on their site.

I know I am old(er), and I know I've been 'round the kitchen a few times (better than being 'round the block a few times!) but in all my years of baking – I have NEVER seen 1/4 TEASPOON of Karo in a pie recipe! Why use it to begin with at that measurement!!!!

Maybe it's me – but I will know tomorrow and I will edit this post and let you know what they say…………..

 

UPDATE –

I just got off the phone with customer service (they really appreciate me calling – NOT!) – the recipe was incorrectly printed in the paper and on their site. The customer service rep (what a way to start her day – with me – and thousands of other calls for the same reason) assured me that it WAS corrected on the site – as of our conversation – it wasn't – and I told her that it needed to be changed (she insisted it WAS corrected – until she checked and saw it for herself – but she was told they changed it). (Their proof-reader needs glasses!)

This is the correct recipe – and I was right – 1/4 cup not 1/4 teaspoon Karo syrup:

Pumpkin Apple Pie

Yield:
8 servings Prep Time:
10 minutes Bake Time:
50-55 minutes Chill Time:
2 hours

1/4 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1 egg
1/4 cup Karo® Corn Syrup OR Karo® Lite Syrup
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 can (5 fluid ounces) evaporated milk

1 can (21 ounces) Comstock® or Wilderness® Apple Pie Filling

1 (9-inch) unbaked deep dish pie crust

MIX sugar, salt and pumpkin pie spice in a bowl. Add egg and beat slightly. Add syrup, pumpkin and evaporated milk; blend well.

SPREAD apple pie filling in pie crust. Gently pour pumpkin filling over the apples.

BAKE in a 425°F preheated oven for 15 minutes; reduce oven temperature to 350°F and continue baking for 35 to 40 minutes, or until knife inserted in pie center comes out clean.

CHILL a minimum of 2 hours before serving.

So the recipe is supposed to be corrected on their site – and for those that are going to follow the recipe from the newspaper – oh well – Karo is not reprinting it for them.

Recipe: OMG! How did I ever cook anything???

|August 26, 2011|read comments (0)
Author: Mama's Kitchen

Here I go – I’m on a roll……time to dust off the soap box!

I’m at it again!

BILLY MAYS HERE………….

Okay – we know he is gone to that great TV advertising station in the sky somewhere. But I can honestly say – I really hated that man. After he passed – I felt bad about disliking him so much. Too loud for me.

But he has left us with his “legacy” of LOUD commercials You know what I am talking about – you’re watching a movie or your favorite program and the sounds seems to get lower and lower – so you have to crank up the volume to hear it comfortably. And then it happens – the damn commercials will blast you right out of your seat! Why? Supposedly, if the general public leaves the room to get a snack for themselves, they can still hear the commercial. The commercials are so loud that the people on the next street can hear them! And we don’t get ONE commercial like we did in the first days of commercials – we get anywhere from 18 to 37 of them every few minutes. And then some nitwit comes up with INFOMERCIALS. One solid half hour of just what you don’t care to hear or see. And where there is one – there are HOURS of them.

Being a cable subscriber (and recently one of our local stations went cable as well – grrrrr) I have the luxury of watching reruns until the cows come home – and then there are the infomercials. The only thing worth watching these days other than the Price is Right, is FOX News. Yeah – I know – you don’t have to say it.

(And to think that my mom enjoys Jerry Springer! Oh the shame she has brought upon us with that!)

Try to pick the lesser of two evils – Back to the Future for the 47th time this week, which is basically a 2-hour movie that has been cut to approximately 20 minutes because the remaining time is dedicated to commercials which they cannot jam in there fast enough and even cut a second or two off of each of those as well, and then there are infomercials. And if you don’t watch the infomercials, they have the Billy Mays out there pushing something that we certainly can(not) live with out.

I’m Italian – I make and cook pasta. Been doing it all my life – since I was a little girl. Ditto with my mom. And my gram. And my great-gram, as so on and so on and Scoobie-doobie-doo.

You fill a large pot with cold water; cover and bring to a rolling boil. Add your salt, wait for the water to return to a rolling boil, add your pasta, cook al dente; drain, etc.

Now – it’s not the way to do it??? Let’s see – we have the Pasta Pronto, the Pasta Boat, the Fasta Pasta – all guaranteed to be the “best” and only way to cook your pasta without the hassle. What hassle? Is it me? Excuse me. You already know how I feel about microwaves. Microwave cooking changes the molecular structure of foods and causes cancer, etc. So why would anyone in their right mind, want to ruin pasta by cooking it in the microwave? Oh my ancestors are turning in their graves over that one!

What got me started on all this? A commercial for some sort of a stirring gizmo with three silicone legs on it (yes – add silicone to the foods as well) that “stirs” the foods for you so that you do not have to. It’s your “third” hand in the kitchen. It is supposed to move around the pan on it’s own (Twilight Zone-ish) and prevent all your foods, soups, stews, gravies, etc. from sticking to the pan. And of course – it takes batteries. What does the heat do to the batteries to emit whatever into your food? And while watching the demonstration – it sure didn’t move around the pan! Sorry – I’ll stick to stirring with my wooden spoons. My foods don’t stick because I stir. It’s part of cooking.

While I’m on the “microwave” thing – there is a 2-tier microwave steamer which they sell for $9.95 – “for healthy foods in minutes” – what part of microwave cooking is not safe don’t they get?

I’m a popcorn lover – and for ONLY $89.98 you can make your own kettle corn – geez – I’ve been using a large kettle for making mine!  Give me $29.98 and I'll make your kettle corn too!  (can't blame me for trying to make an honest buck!)

I also love a good hotdog! God knows how much I love hotdogs! And as a Camp Fire Girl leader – I had the “pleasure” of working at the Bills (Buffalo Bills) stadium for the football games. “Stadium dogs” are usually done by placing the hotdogs in water and bringing to a simmer before serving. But according to the TV-mercials – for only $49.95 you can own a hotdog rotisserie griller for the “perfect stadium dog” – or for $24.95 you can have a hotdog toaster that makes perfect hotdogs every time – or for $49.95 you can own a hotdog roller that makes perfect hotdogs every time. Many “famous” places boil or steam their dogs before placing on the grill. I like mine done that way or just grilled. I toast my rolls right along side of the hotdogs. I must be doing something wrong. LOL!

Eggs. Never in my life did I think that separating, cooking, peeling, or cutting eggs was such a chore. I boil my eggs perfectly on the stove top. To peel – I just tap them on the counter and give them a gentle roll – never a problem. Cutting is a cinch. And I still separate eggs the way my great gram did – crack the egg and empty the contents into your fingers, catching the yolk, while the whites go into a bowl. Place the yolks in a separate bowl. Works for me. So why would I need an egg extractor for $9.95, or an egg cracker and separator for $14.95, etc.

I peel my own potatoes – using a knife – for over 50 years. Big deal. But now they say you need potato peeling gloves ($9.95) or a “miracle” peeler that peels in any direction ($9.95). Or you can buy a “Rotato” ($24.95) – the perfect peeler. I don’t get it. Not at all. I peel in any direction I dang-well please – no gloves – no blood and guts – no problem.

Salads – something else that I’ve made all my life. Years ago I bought a salad spinner – it’s okay – I used it a couple times. Now there is a salad blaster ($11.95) and a salad blaster bowl ($9.95) guaranteed – NO MORE SOGGY SALADS. ???? I wash my lettuce and greens and place in a colander to drain. Works just fine. And I don’t serve soggy salads!

And then there is the “grate plate” – a plate that grates. I won’t even get started on that gizmo!

And every kitchen needs a Batter Pro – the “revolutionary” way to batter all your foods in less than 10 seconds. Let’s see now – battering foods is not anything close to marinating them. I don’t “soak” my foods in the batter – it’s dip and go. Yeah – and in less than 10 seconds! I just saved $14.95.

Moving right along – the brownie pan for perfect “sliced” brownies. HUH??? Slicing is done with a knife, blade or cutter of some sort. That brownie pan is a square-shaped muffin tin – that’s it. I never knew that “slicing” brownies was such a disaster to handle! But I guess cleaning all the spilled batter all over the top of the brownie pan isn’t a disaster at all – (cough). Use your muffin tin – it's the same thing.

And what’s this “butter dispenser” for $14.95? Sorry – I‘m a fifties girl – dispense this.

And don’t forget the gravy warmer ($24.95) – don’t even get me started on that! Or it’s cousin – the mini-buffet server. OMG! It’s MINI all right! Could it be any smaller? Save the $69.95.

This one – I really love it. I live right here in the Chicken Wing Capital of the World. Everyone here eats chicken wings. Lip-smackin’, finger-lickin goodness. Always served with a ton of napkins. And for $7.95 you can own a Snak Daddy – and serve chicken wings without the mess. HELLOOOOO – it’s not the SERVING of the wings that is messy – it’s the EATING!

And there are tons more items like this out there. And a sucker born every minute.

Granted there are some things that may be worth it –

And in closing – before I step off my soap box –

How about the FRIDGE LOCKER! And it’s only $19.95. What is it for? To keep the kids out (I am against that! I never hold back food from anyone!) or to help the dieter? (Like someone on a diet couldn’t grab chips and junk food out of the cupboard!)

(stepping down………)

Oh – and one note about ordering from the TV ads – buy one right now and we will double your order – you'll get a second (piece of crap) at no additional cost. Just pay separate shipping charges –

I placed an order for Buxton cell phone/purse thingies that you can wear around your neck that hold your cell, keys, money, credit cards. Great for shopping. and they were onloy $8.95 each – so I ordered 4 of them – I asked how much it would be with shipping – it was well over $65.00 – each purse being shipped separately. They are so small that all 4 of them should ship U.S. Snail Mail for less than $2.00! Needless to say – I canceled the order and waited till they were available in the stores. And I should mention this – although they were so "cheap" – when you place an order they try so hard to sell you an "upgraded" version made with "better leather" (still from the cow's azz!) for ONLY $24.95 each! – and they really tried to push them on me! Aren't you glad I shared that with you??